narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

okay seriously if you’re in a relationship or even a friendship and you find yourself spending more time crying out of sadness or arguing with them, leave them. i don’t care if they’re a modern day aphrodite/adonis or a gift bestowed upon you by the gods. toxic people are dangerous and i highly advise cutting them out of your life and finding someone who makes you laugh until you snort your drink out your nose instead.

(Source: suarezalex)

braydaaan:

do you ever just realise you’re almost an adult and you have no money 

snoia:

i literally have no idea what im gonna do if i dont end up rich

dunede:

i feel sooooo confused about what i look like? am i fat am i skinny and i pretty or ugly i literally CAN’T TELL AT ALL. how i feel about my looks changes on a min to min basis and is mostly affected by my mood i am so confused what the HECK do i actually look like to u people. i feel like an alien in my body 

(Source: hevenly7)

is it just me or do people feel like running away from home all the time?!!?!?

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